Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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