Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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