I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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