She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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