found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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