PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
