I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
someone owes me an orgasm
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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