Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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