Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
