We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
