apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
