More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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