She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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