i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
