found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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