lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
