Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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