How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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