ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
