every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
