So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
