I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
