When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize