I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
