y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
