you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
time to smoke my breakfast
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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