i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
