He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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