is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
