Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I will be naked everywhere
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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