So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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