her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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