Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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