Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
