im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
