My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
