so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
