Christians are straight up FREAKS
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
