I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
third nipple confirmed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
