i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
