its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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