Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Terrible idea I love it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
