i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
