You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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