So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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