It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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