listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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