I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
