WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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