if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
