Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
