Don't make out with my wife yet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
